Day 51 December 20th, 2023 So again, I am just watching the movie for the sake of watching it. As much as I want to review more deleted scenes or sequences today, I am not feeling it. I am starting to wonder if this will take a toll on me mentally. It is like a daily chore like brushing your teeth or showering just to watch it. I know that I have a lot going on outside of watching the film, and seasonal depression is probably kicking in if you couldn't tell from some of the anti-Christmas stuff I was saying yesterday. For the record, I once liked Christmas, then I saw how dysfunctional my family became after my father passed away, and we were able to only get a handful of good Christmas Eve nights. It started going downhill after I had my colon resection. I do blame myself for the start of the decline. I ripped my brother's family a new hole because I took all my pain out on them. This was when I grew less fond of letting the kids do whatever they wanted. I did not yell at the
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